Kiss & Tell

Have you ever snogged in a really surreal place?

Hannah: The weirdest was probably in a laundry room on top of a table, while my under wear was spinning around in a washing machine! Oh, and I snogged on one of those simulator machines, too. It was a roller coaster ride that shot off in to space, and we were the only ones inside. Heh-heh!

Tina: Mine was a public toilet but it was clean, I hasten to add. It was the girl's loo of this bar and it was actually out of order but we broke into it. It was with my ex-boyfriend and I was supposed to be working. I don't know if I'd say toilet snogging is romantic, but certainly was passionate!

Jo: Mine was under a bridge near where I used to live. It was actually really disgusting cos it was really cold and wet, and we hardly had any room at all. I wouldn't advise it.

How many people have you snogged in one night?

Bradley: When I was 12, there was an under-18's night near home and the boys would go to snog as many girls as possible. They'd even put requests out over the microphone like "Claire wants to snog James!" [Everyone cracks up giggling] I'm not joking that was the way it used to work! The most I snogged was 12.

Jon: At my local youth club all the boys used to have a competition to see who could kiss the most girls. It was so easy as they were rather, ahem, forthcoming shall we say. I kissed 11 once and I didn't even win!

What secrets can you tell us about each other's kissing techniques?

Rachel: I think Jon would be a quite a good kisser cos he had to kiss a girl in LA 7 and it was very passionate.

Tina: To be honest I think your kissing technique is only as good as the person you're kissing.

Rachel: Yeah, if you're with a bad kisser then you don't stand a chance.

Jon: Oh, the worst is if they've got a cow's tongue. When it's really dry and hard.

Hannah: I had this guy with a hard tongue. He pushed it in my mouth and just left it there. I was like, OK, what do I do now? And he kept trying to push it in further. It made me want to gag. I nearly puked in his mouth!

Tina: Oh sick breath or bad breath is a big no no!

Jo: That's why you never have a good pash first thing in the morning, cos morning breath is the ultimate passion killer.

Have any of you made an embarrassing snogging faux pas?

Paul: I've burped into a girl's mouth, but we knew each other really well.

Bradley: I've hiccupped into a girl's mouth.

Rachel: That's horrible but there's nothing worse than a hard aggressive kisser.

Jon: Well I remember when this girl bit me in mid-snog!

Tina: I hate it when they bite you!

Jon: She didn't mean to, but she had, like, this fang tooth, which was really sharp and slit my lip.

Paul: Well, when I was fifteen, I had a snog in a cinema and at the time I thought she was nibbling my neck. But when I left the place I realized she'd eaten me. I looked like I'd been eaten by a vampire cos I had 12 red blotches around my neck.

Bradley: I had one of those dithery ones. Go to kiss me Hannah... [Hannah leans in for a pretend kiss] Then we went like this: [Bradley moves his head to the left then to the right then to the left x 100]. It was a nightmare! It went on for about two minutes and in the end it turned into a hug!

Where do you stand with regard to the whole eyes open or closed argument?

Rachel: I think you just naturally close your eyes. There's something scary about someone who kisses with there eyes open.

Bradley: I do sometimes have a quick peek.

Paul: You have to scan where the light switch is!

Hannah: Or where you want to go next.

Paul: Or look at the CD player to see which track is up next. [The Clubbers break into simultaneous howls of laughter]. How corny is that?!

Bradley: Have you done that?

Paul: It's sad but yeah!

Bradley: So have I!

Paul: I've had the CD remote in my back pocket while I'm snogging someone and changed the track when she's not looking.

Have you ever caught your parents in a passionate clinch?

Jo: If I caught my parents I think I'd be sick. I would disown them!

Rachel: I think it's sweet.

Paul: When I was younger I caught my parents loads of times. I used to get in the way and smother my mum with kisses just to be a nuisance.

Rachel: It's only a kiss after all.

Jon: Well if it was anything else I think I'd probably need therapy!

Who are the worst flirts, girls or boys?

Paul: Girls and boys have different ways of flirting.

Hannah: Girls are all giggly and posey.

Paul: Which is very frustrating.

Hannah: They'll show flesh, too.

Paul: They won't be forward with speech but they'll be obvious with body language.

Bradley: But if a guy likes a girl he'll just go up to her and start chatting.

Paul: But that's not really flirting, is it?

Bradley: Yeah, its just being straight to the point- girls are more flirtatious.

Boys think about ruderies more. Discuss!

Paul: Allegedly every six seconds.

Jon: I'd agree with that!

Hannah: I don't think that's true.

Paul: Maybe when I was younger I could muster up quite a few naughty thoughts in like half an hour, but not that many.

Bradley: Well today I haven't thought about rude stuff, but there are days when I'm on it every five seconds.

Tina: Guys are just generally a bit more full-on. For example, if you were at a strip club I think guys would be more "wahey" whereas girls would be "ugh".

Well, lap-dancing bars seem to be the new trend for popstrels like B*Witched and the Spice Girls!

Jo: It's just a laugh, I suppose, if you go with a big bunch of mates. I've never been but I probably would go. I wouldn't be embarrassed at all. I'd probably get up there and do a bit myself!

Tina: At the end of the day we've all got the same bits and bobs, so what's the big deal?

Rachel: I don't find male strippers attractive, but it's good for a laugh if you're with girlie mates.

Tina: I think guys get turned on by strippers, but girls just find it funny.

Jo: A bloke standing there with his meat and two veg out - who's not going to find that funny?

What are you most scared about someone revealing in a kiss and story?

Jo: Well "Jo is crap!" would be pretty bad!

Bradley: I'd like them to say I was good and that they wanted more. I'd be scared of them saying I kissed like a wet fish!

Rachel: To be honest I think if it was something that was actually true, something personal that an ex-boyfriend revealed, that would be really hurtful. If it's like a lie, then who cares?

Do you have any incriminating pictures you dread appearing in the paper?

Jon: There's a picture of me taken on some school camping trip in Devon. It's me in blue pants, standing outside in the middle of the night, next to an open fire with my hands on my hips, posing and looking all proud. The guy, who took it, blew it all up and put copies of it all over the school. So there are quite a few copies of it floating around.

Tina: When I was eight I was in a Hula-Hoop competition and it made the front page of the local newspaper! I've got three hoops spinning on each arm, one around my neck and loads around my waist, and I look so stupid with this grin on my face. It's awful.

Jo: The worst picture of me was taken when luminous Lycra was trendy. I've got this, skin-tight, luminous yellow ribbed dress with black tights on. I also tried scrunching my hair, which wasn't a success cos I had I didn't have much hair, so it just looked like rats tails. Then, to top it off, I'm wearing bright red lipstick and blue eye shadow. I thought I looked fantastic at the time!

Rachel: Well when I was around eight, I had this suit that I absolutely loved. It was satin pink with a matching chiffon skirt. My mum would curl my hair, and I'm not joking you, it would be out to here! [Indicates metre-wide 'do']!

Who would be your fantasy celebrity to kiss and tell?

Tina: I know it's boring, but it's got to be Johnny Depp.

Jon: Mine's Minnie Driver.

Jo: My ultimate would be Leo, obviously.

Hannah: Oh yeah, definitely Leonardo.

Paul: I've always had a thing for Elle MacPherson myself.

Do S Club have any secret fetishes?

Rachel: For me there's just something about a man's back. It doesn't have to be really muscly cos I can't bare really muscly guys and of course it can't be hairy. It just has to be really smooth and tanned. I also like the smell of a guy. A really nice subtle after-shave.

Jon: It's hands for me. Just really nice hands, the kind that do adverts for Iceland where they just reach into the freezer for some petit pois.

Jo: Short men do it for me. I also like scars - they make a man look manly.

Tina: I used to have a thing for shaven heads. I just like real men with strong arms - I hate guys with skinny arms.

Paul: I like it if someone starts nibbling my stomach.

Hannah: I like having my neck nibbled and kissed.

Bradley: What drives me crazy is when a girl kisses my neck and tickles my back. I can't stand still and turn to jelly. I love it, but at the same time I can't take it.

Have you ever had a secret affair?

Paul: I was seeing two girls when I was at school but they both knew about each other.

Jon: It's different when you're younger.

Hannah: We use to swap boyfriends all the time when I was at my first school. Me and two best mates used to all go out with this one guy called Ben Hopwood. And then usually all the boys used to line up behind the bike sheds and the girls would walk through kissing them.

[Sounds interesting! And on that note we think S club have kissed and told quite enough for now!]